FIND THE HAPPY – Week 2 – Monday 13th April 2015 – Sunday 19th April 2015
I had my very first ski lesson on Sunday!
I was terrified. It seems the older I am getting the more terrified of things I am getting. It went okay. I fell over 3 times in my 3-hour lesson. About 2-hours in I wanted to cry and give up, falling down was quite a knock, especially when it involved a terrifying conveyor belt lift. It was quite fun going down when you got it right, but I did feel a bit like my lesson was a bit rushed and I really didn’t grasp the concepts fully. Just when I started to get the hang of something we would move on. There were 10 people in my class, right at the maximum so I think this is probably why we were a little pressed for time.
I am very much in 2-minds about it now. I didn’t hugely enjoy it, but I didn’t fully hate it. I was terrified and psyched myself out a bit I think. I want to like skiing, but I am not sure I do yet. I need to have a think and look at the lessons and how I am going to play it. I would be tempted to take the first 2 lessons again. I certainly do not think I am going to be ready for a ski holiday any time soon.
Aside from all this, it was a really nice day. Jezz and I got up super early and drove to pick up our friend (who is quite an experienced snow boarder) from his house in London. We stopped and had a breakfast wrap from McDonald’s (mmm naughty) then continued up to SnoZone in Milton Keynes. I had my lesson while the boys did their thing. They carried on a couple of hours after me and I had a little wander around the few shops they have there (might have purchased some pricey Roxy tops in the sale) and then sat with a cappuccino watching all the skiers. Once they were done we headed back to London and had Chinese, dropped off our friend and then came back to Brighton. Shower and bed. Exhausted! Skiing is hard work.
FIND THE HAPPY
FIND THE HAPPY – Week 1 – Monday 6th April 2015 – Sunday 12th April 2015
Turns out I am not that great at sticking to a routine, or at least creating a new task to add to my existing routine. Last years concept and idea of blogging quickly became a stress and a chore. Which it shouldn’t be. It is supposed to be fun. So I stopped.
I have been thinking more and more about trying again so here we go. I have also decided then rather then setting off with a subject matter in mind, we are just going to go and see where it takes me. Bit like splashing pain all over a canvas with the hope that something comes of it… maybe a poor analogy… a brain storm (are we allowed to use that any more? Last I heard the politically correct term was “board blasting” so as not to offend people with epilepsy…. *eye roll*) about things I like to write about, back to the original idea of journalling I guess.
I love reading blogs, in particular this one Sprinkle Of Glitter. Louise writes with such charm and wit and about a little bit of everything. Also quite addicted to her YouTube channel(s) too…. funny how compelling it can be to watch someone go about their day to day life. Anyway, Louise has recently been listing her “happies”… so I thought I would try this. It is a bit like the concept of the happy jar seen here on pinterest. I would like to “find the happy”.
I think Friday is my favourite day.
What a brilliant word this one is! Codswhallop… ooooooooh what a load of codswhallop!! It’s meaning “nonsense” You would use it as a rather lovely way of explaining that something is nonsense…
“David said to me that he could eat 12 pizza’s in one sitting… what a load of codswhallop”.
I feel a bit like this word has gone out of fashion, I will endeavour to use it more!!
So, where does codswhallop come from?
It is widely accepted that “codswhallop” comes from the tale of a man named Hiram Codd who in the 1870’s patented a bottle for fizzy drinks that had a marble in the neck, which would act as a lid as the pressure from the gas in the drink sealing the bottle. The marble was pushed into the bottle releasing the gas and the drink was consumed.
Whallop was a slang term for beer, and Codd’s Whallop became a term used by beer drinkers to describe beer that was gassy or weak. I am guessing that Codd’s invention was not all that great then!
Some other theories describe “Codd” as referencing codd-piece, whallop still being the slang term for beer. Also, “Codd” literally as in the fish.
So there you go! I am sure Mr Codd would not be best pleased to know that his invention has now become a term for something that is nonsense.
“They are using my invention to describe something as nonsense – what a load of codswhallop”.
So only a couple of weeks in and I have already missed a week of posting. Not good enough Amy! It is amazing, I have spent months with little ideas buzzing around my head of what I could put on my blog and what hilarious things go through my head but as soon as there is some where to put them…
Letting go of things has always been a bit of a problem for me. I have held onto regret, guilt, anger, grudges for longer than I should. Always. Regret in particular is one thing that knotted in my stomach, replaying scenes over and over in my head until I feel like I might explode. It is a funny thing not being able to let go. Like some weird gone-wrong wiring in the brain. The need to replay something over and over again to traumatise yourself and cause yourself the most distress possible. Bizarre and very very annoying.
I was made aware this weekend that I had made a bit of a break through with one such thing. I won’t go into too much detail, but I found myself in the company of someone from my past that was party to one of the more distressing and anger inducing times in my life. Someone that was party to one of the worst betrayals ever. For a long long time I was angry, so angry I would lie in bed and think over and over about it, asking questions and reliving the whole thing. Even long after the whole thing was done and dusted with. I had not seen this person for about 3 years, maybe longer, and always dreaded the day it would come. We have mutual friends so I knew that one day it would happen. I found myself, with some of my best friends, some other friends and this person is there… and I laugh. I felt nothing any more. A very very close friend who is fiercely loyal was fuming, raging and I was calming them down. It didn’t matter any more. I had let go. I was not angry, I was not sad, I was not happy by any means but I was just indifferent. As I stood there in my new life, surrounded by some people from a less than happy time from my life and I was okay. I realised I hadn’t thought about this person or what had happened in a long time.
I guess time really is the greatest healer. I am in such a happier place in my life right now that none of that matters. Funny thing was, I know that this person is still a mess. Still in that place, lost, messed up and alone. I guess I am growing up, I don’t have time to hang onto that anger any more. I don’t have the energy, there are so many better things going on right now that I do not have to be angry any more. It is nice. It was unexpected but nice.
I feel good. I am good. I am happy. Learning to let go of anger without really realising, my brain just naturally seemed to work it all out. I guess time really is the best healer.
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