30 things I have learned in my 30 years.

30 Things I have Learned in 30 years

Since my last post was a little more on the ranty side, here is a more light hearted little number for you all.

As my 31st birthday rapidly approaches here are 30 things I have learned in my 30 years:

  1. My mum was right about pretty much everything. Apart from the fact that brownies are gross, because it is a well known fact that they are not.
  2. Keep your sugar and salt marked very clearly, and very far away from each other. This will prevent any disturbing coffee traumas.
  3. Take your make up off before bed. Your skin will thank you.
  4. Do not kick a curb in a fit of rage when you miss your bus. You will not win in a fight against concrete.
  5. Lashings of butter should be added to mash potato. Otherwise it tastes like sadness. You also cannot cheat and make mash in a blender. You will get wall paper paste.Mash Potato
  6. Drink lots of water. Especially if you are going out boozing.
  7. Also, in relation to above. Eating is NOT cheating. Have some bloody dinner before you go out.
  8. Do not put furniture polish on your wooden flooring, unless you are trying to make it into an ice-skating rink.
  9. Cook rice on a low heat. This will prevent you destroying every pan you own.
  10. Do not cut your own hair. Unless you are a hairdresser. Or a small child.
  11. Take your hands out of doors/drawers/cupboards/gates before closing them.
  12. Skiing is like playing Russian Roulette. At some point it will literally break you. For me, it was emotionally.Me Skiing
  13. Sudocreme is magic. For everything. Apart from on your toast.
  14. Broccoli does taste better when you are an adult. This is why your mum made you eat it as a kid. Oh that, and it’s good for you.
  15. Making it “rain” in your own house with prawn crackers will come with it’s regrets the next day.
  16. Do not check your electric hob is on by touching it. This will remove your finger prints.
  17. At home waxing is a stupid idea. Don’t even bother. Get a professional to do it for you. Unless you enjoy being covered in sticky lumps of your own hair and tears.
  18. Being kind is a simple, yet stupendously effective thing. It will also make you feel awesome when you do something good for someone else.
  19. Cheap raincoats are a waste of time.
  20. Microwave popcorn can and will catch fire if you take your eye off the microwave for a second.
  21. Primark leggings should not ever be worn as trousers, they are see-through. I can see your pants.
  22. Do not buy smart price/essentials/the cheapest bin bags. Your rubbish will leak, and you will say some curse words.
  23. Take a minute before responding to something that has made you angry. You cant take back words once they have been said.
  24. Shots are never a good idea.kermit-1651325_1920
  25. To get rid of hiccups, take the deepest breathe you can and hold it for as long as you can. Until you feel like you might pop. Start breathing again before you pass out though eh?
  26. Time will legitimately go faster as you get older. That or I am being abducted by aliens. Repeatedly.
  27. Cacao and Chia seed pudding does not taste like chocolate mousse. Anyone claiming this is a liar.
  28. Don’t worry too much about how you look in a swimming costume. Chance is everyone else at the pool is too busy worrying about themselves too much to even notice you.
  29. Check the chair is actually behind you before you sit on it.
  30. Throw your hands in the air, wave them like you just don’t care. But be cautious of people around you because you might punch a drink out of their hand or them in the face. My bad.