There is a photograph that you might have come across if you ever happened to search anything wedding related on the internet. It is of a woman on a treadmill, and on the treadmill next to her is a wedding dress, draped like a carrot on a stick.
My weight has fluctuated a lot since I was a teenager. This is a pretty normal thing, this happens to a lot of people. It has constantly been something I feel like I have had to think about, or something that I have been presented with as something I should be aware of. It comes from everywhere around us, friends, family and more so than anything else, the media. It occurred to me around 4 years ago that I was really tired of this, of being made to think about my weight. I was bored of complaining, or being complained too by people about how fat I am/they are, or how gross I am/they are. Even when at my smallest, my weight was still something I thought about, and that screams to me that something isn’t right. I have now come to realise that it is not my issue per say, but rather a symptom of what I have been made to feel by the world around me. It saddens me that things are like this. Not just for me, but for every single female (and male) in the Western world.
I am not 100% happy with how I look right now, but I don’t think I ever will be and I don’t think I ever have been. I think that is probably a sentiment that most women can empathise with. I have decided to accept that fact, some things you cannot change. There are more important things in the world. I have spent too many hours of my life fretting and worrying about these things, which really at the end of the day do not matter. I do not look at any of my friends and think these bad things about them, so why should I think them about myself? I have no time for it anymore.
The fact that I am now a “bride to be”, has apparently lumped me with the rule that I “MUST” lose weight in order to look my best for my wedding. This, to be frank, pisses me off. That photo pissed me off. The fact that throughout my adult life I had promised myself that I would “get my weight in order” when I got engaged pissed me off. The fact I am getting married is not a reason to lose weight. My fiancé does not love me any more or any less because of my size. I was this size when he asked me to marry him.
To be clear, this pressure has come from no one I actually know, but rather it has been shoved in my face by numerous social medias, bride magazines and wedding planning websites. I recently downloaded a “to-do” tick off list, and the top task one is “SIGN UP FOR THE GYM – now is the time to start dieting to look your best for your wedding day”.
Do you know what? Fuck you list.
If I am going to sign up for the gym it is going to be because I want to get healthier, for my life, because I want to be fitter, for my life. My marriage is not about one day, it is about my life.
So many women put themselves through hell before their weddings to fit into a dress that they will never wear again afterwards. To spend 18 month avoiding carbs and doing hours of training in the gym only to drop it all after the wedding and “let normal service resume”. All of this for one day? It just seems so silly to me.
I do not like this “dangling the carrot” thing I am being faced with. The wedding dress on the treadmill. The completely untrue “fact” that in order to be considered beautiful on my wedding day I will have to stop eating, and start running. It is grossly unfair, and unhealthy to have this attitude. I do not want my future daughter to feel like in order to be beautiful she has to be thin. I truly believe that all women are beautiful no matter what their size. The only reason to “lose weight” is for your health. Not to fit into a stupid dress.