I am not sure why I am writing this, because I am pretty sure you won’t listen to a word I say because you know best. However you are 13, and you don’t. You are going to get some things wrong. I don’t want to stop you getting all of those things wrong, because getting things wrong is how you learn not to do them again. It’s how you learn how to do things right. It’s little things like that that make me, me now and not you then. I guess I am writing this now, to just remind you of a few things, in an attempt that you don’t fret so much, don’t waste too much time on silly things.
Don’t waste your time on people that make you feel bad about yourself. Those girls that tell you, you are not pretty enough for a boyfriend are not your friends. Those girls who lie to other girls about being in your company are not your friends. Those girls who call you names are not your friends. Don’t waste time trying to get them to like you, do not lower yourself to their level and do the same thing to other girls. Girls can be bitches, don’t be one of those girls.
Remember that no matter who you are at secondary school, they will find something wrong with you. For you it will be the fact you have red hair, that right now, you hate. Your mum keeps telling you that women pay hundreds of pounds to get their hair that way…. she isn’t wrong. Plus, red heads don’t go grey as quickly, just remember that when they are calling you names. You will come to love it, and people will find you attractive because of it. Promise. Remember everyone is being picked on for something, just remember that it doesn’t affect you as a person, the fact they are calling you “ginge” doesn’t mean you are a terrible person, in fact, it makes them the terrible person. They are probably trying to detract from the fact that they unhappy with something about themselves. So shrug it off. It doesn’t mean anything to you.
Don’t do anything you are not comfortable with. If you feel uncomfortable with a situation, leave it. Don’t be forced into a situation just to follow the crowd. You are better than that, following the masses has never really been you, and will never be you. Standing up for yourself and finding your own voice is a much more respectable trait then being another face in the crowd.
Appreciate the fact you can eat whatever you want right now. It won’t always be that way. Eat as many doughnuts as possible.
Keep writing. You will stop and wish you hadn’t. Keep singing. You’re not any good but it makes you happy. Keep dancing like an idiot, anybody trying to look cool dancing looks like a fool, not you having the absolute time of your life…throw those shapes.
Bras from Primark are a waste of time. Save your money.
Wear your retainer. You will be annoyed that you didn’t.
Grow out your fringe. The photos will come back to haunt you when 29 year old you will post them on the Internet for all to see….
Don’t smoke. It is a stupid habit. It will cost you a small fortune, and you will stink. You will regret starting. You will no doubt start anyway, but it sucks, and your parents WILL know… even if they don’t say anything until you are in your twenties.
Your Mum knows more then she lets on.
Boys are not everything. Having a boyfriend does not make you valuable or worthy or any better off then you are now. Appreciate your own company.
Someone will tell you in a few years “Never regret the things you have done, regret the things you didn’t do”. Remember this. You don’t know if you don’t try. Be brave. Do your best.
Remember, you are alright. You are more than alright, you are good. Be you and things will work out okay.
Amy (29 years old)